Preventing the world from plunging into economic chaos can be dirty, joyless work. Thankfully, foreign ministers of the ultra-exclusive G8 club were handed their very own perfume balls and custom DSs when they gathered in Kyoto recently to lay the groundwork for next week's leadership summit. You'll never guess what Condoleezza pictochatted Miliband. Poor Steinmeier, always the butt of their jokes...

[Thanks Ittousai!]

Just under a month after shipping Don King Presents Prizefighter for Xbox 360, UK-based Venom Games is reportedly closing up shop. Computer and Video Games cites a source at the company, who divulged that Venom staff were informed of the closure Wednesday.

We contacted Take-Two, who published Prizefighter under its 2K Sports label, and were told by a spokesperson that it is currently "assessing the role of Venom Games in Take-Two's overall global studio system," and "in a consultation with the employees of Venom in relation to possible redundancies at the studio."

Activision announced this morning that Guitar Hero: On Tour is booking gigs all over and has sold 300,000 units in its first week. The publisher states that GH:OT is the company's best launch on the DS by a factor of eight; not only that, but it's also one of the top five best-selling launches "in the company's history."

Activision's Mike Griffith -- who's probably still high from his $1.5 million bonus -- is excited about GH:OT's "breakthrough peripheral" bringing the Guitar Hero experience to the potential 41 million DS owners in NA and Europe. All we know is we'll have entered a strange new world if we start seeing people playing this game on public transportation.

Confirming earlier rumors, Konami is giving the Elebits series another go, this time transplanting the game's charming puzzle solving to the Nintendo DS. According to IGN, Elebits: The Adventures of Kai and Zero will once again see players interacting with the titular and tiny electric beings, coaxing them into overcoming all manner of obstacles and challenges. Obviously. What else would you do with them?

Though little is known about the game, it's expected to feature head-to-head competition through Nintendo's Wi-Fi connection, as well as local four-player battles. Look for it on shelves this Fall -- though it might be called "Eledees: The Adventures of Kai and Zero" if you're in Europe.

[Via DS Fanboy]

It's time to take a look back at Nintendo's first foray into handheld gaming, nine years before Game Boy (and three years before Famicon/NES). Researchers at DS Fanboy have compiled an exhaustive rertrospective on the Game & Watch, in addition to interviewing two dedicated collectors. As is commonly written, know your roots.

We don't know any way to put this gingerly, so we're just going to come right out with it: July isn't going to be a great month for games. Sure, there are a few (read: very few) exceptions, but for the most part, we hope you didn't burn through all of June's surprise riches already.

But far be it from us to rain on your July, see the cream of the crop and decide for yourself.

Well, that didn't take long. After Square Enix quietly launched a teaser website seemingly devoted to bringing fan fave Chrono Trigger to the Nintendo DS, we've managed to scrape our jaws off the floor just in time to see that the company has confirmed plans for the title, and that the game will ship in time for North American gamers to pull it out of their stockings this holiday season.

With the original having shipped some 2.5 million copies the world over, Squeenix calls the portable take on the 1995 SNES role-playing classic "newly revamped," promising a new dungeon and wireless play of some sort. Touch screen support is also promised, something we're getting plenty of practice at as we paw at our computer screens in eager anticipation.

A new Square Enix countdown site has launched, which features only a clock and the Nintendo DS logo. Considering the URL is square-enix.co.jp/ctds, we're going to take a guess and say it's Chrono Trigger DS. It could be a remake, a sequel ... or something entirely different. Chrono Tetris, perhaps?

Screw that. Who are we kidding?

[Thanks to everyone that sent this in! And to Square Enix, for doing something right.]

They say that birds of a feather flock together, and that's certainly the case when it comes to niche game stalwarts Atlus and NIS America. The companies, which began holding hands with 2003's Disgaea: Hour of Darkness, have continued their close, dare we say intimate relationship, concerning a trio of upcoming titles, including Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice for the PS3.

The pair jointly announced that they will work together to release Disgaea 3 in North America on August 26, followed by both Disgaea DS and PlayStation remake, Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure, for the Nintendo DS on September 23. In each case Atlus will act as the distributor, no doubt ensuring that the entire ten-copy run of each title makes it safely to store shelves.

Sure, it's sad to see all those beautiful, Special Edition DS models in Japan never reach US or European soil. Fortunately for those with a bottomless wallet, the DS is region-free. If you're the kind to covet DS units like Pokemon, here's a collection of some of the best colors and designs from around the world.

Is that DOOM running on the DS? Not unless "DOOM" is spelled C.O.R.E (which we believe most likely stands for "Completely Ordinary Regurgitated Experience" based on this trailer).

Having nothing to do with the sci-fi disaster flick The Core or Sony's digital magazine Qore – or even Tomb Raider developer CORE – this FPS from developer No Way (yes way!) manages to take us back to 1993 with its straight-outta-DOOM shotgun sound effect and 1977 with its "hey, that's from Star Wars!" blaster sound effect.

We eagerly await a metareview on this one. Can it even ... touch Touch the Dead?

Well, it's the end of an era. We've had a lot of fun over the last few months making fun of Aerosmith, both for their membership among the ranks of the walking undead and for passing mediocre music on an unsuspecting public for decades. But today we must report that, despite our most acerbic cursing into the blogging darkness, Guitar Hero Aerosmith is, in fact, being released. You win this round, Tyler.

So why are we featuring it? Well, you ever see that scene in Hook where Peter gives Hook the dignity of having his hair back, even though they're mortal enemies? It's sort of like that. ... And yes, the closest contender is Purr Pals on Wii. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.

With all the recent buzz surrounding big-budget film adaptations of major video game licenses, we began to wonder -- if films based off of games can find funding with movie production companies, why couldn't a film based off of a video game news column? As our minds began to race with thoughts of cross-promotional T-shirts and licensed cereals, we recklessly ran to our laptops, and wrote out a hasty plot synopsis for "Japanese Hardware Sales: The Movie". We're pretty proud of it, and the agent we hired at a local flea market is convinced we can eventually squeeze a trilogy out of the initial concept. Don't worry, gentle readers. We won't forget you when we make it to the big time.

The still night air wafting over the Hardware district of the bustling metropolis of Salesbury, Japan, is punctuated with the crackle of gunfire. The town's many residents realize with a start that Sunday's midnight hour has come, and quickly retreat into their bullet-riddled homesteads. From the shadows of the city's seemingly endless alleyways emerge the six gangs who fight weekly for the unspoken control of Salesbury: the powerful reigning champs known as the "Park Street Pistols", the young and lively contenders known simply as "The Wii-vils", the once invincible "DoorStep Lighteners", the mercenaries of "The Third Order of Private Soldiers", their once-parent organization "The Second Order of Private Soldiers", and the mysterious, poorly-funded outfit known as "The Xterminators of 360th Street".

Who will come out on top at the end of this four-hour-long cinematic masterwork? Only time, and the purchasing habits of the people of Japan, will tell. Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Coolidge, the leader of the Park Street Pistols; Kevin James as Archie, his carefree sidekick; Rose McGowan as Belladonna, the feisty captain of The Wii-vils, and a guy who kinda looks like Bruce Vilanch as the menacing "Red Arrow".

- PSP: 59,351 5,324 (8.23%)
- Wii: 41,037 4,527 (9.94%)
- DS Lite: 36,599 2,602 (6.64%)
- PS3: 20,336 54,975 (73.00%)
- PS2: 6,346 951 (13.03%)
- Xbox 360: 2,555 392 (18.12%)

[Source: Media Create]

See: The bullet-riddled archives

We know there are probably one too many prerequisites for you to find this story truly interesting -- but if you're one of those rare DS Lite owners who recently purchased Guitar Hero: On Tour, and is also into homebrew applications for the handheld, and also fancies themselves a modern day Botticelli, then there's a new homebrew painting application with some surprising peripheral functionality that the four of you should really consider picking up.

The app in question is BassAceGold's UAPaint (v1.02), which allows the use of the On Tour guitar grip buttons for easily accessible short cuts to important tools, streamlining the digital painting process. It's a really sleek setup -- unfortunately, we're not entirely convinced that DS doodlers really need faster, more powerful methods of etching poorly-rendered genitalia into their luminescent screens.

We've had many Game Boy Pockets, GBA SPs and other portable devices snatched up by certain agitated educators during our formative years, which is why the recent news of a new program to teach English to Japanese students using the Nintendo DS fills us with unbridled, elderly bitterness. Think of the things our generation of handheld companions could have taught us! Geometry from Tetris! Microbiology from Dr. Mario! Animal husbandry from Pokémon!

To be fair, the program (which was recently examined in a Reuters write-up) requires students at Japan's Joshi Gakuen all-girl junior high school to use special English-instructing software with the handhelds, which are collected at the end of each class to prevent any unsavory Pokédueling during recess. The program is just barely into its one-year trial period, though the school's vice principal is very optimistic -- if only he knew he was actually transforming his pupils into rot-brained, knife-wielding miscreants!